There is no place like the E.R. to remind you how very blessed and fortunate you are. I know that sounds like the biggest oxymoron ever. But because I have MS I find myself there a little more often than the average Jane.
Parents holding tightly to sick kids.
Elderly patients with caretakers that looked like they didn’t ever want to see the inside of a hospital ever again.
Those same elderly patients feeling like a burden, closing themselves up tight.
Young kids in gang colors with wrapped up cuts and scrapes. Men addicted to drugs. Prisoners in wheelchairs followed by five armed police officers.
It makes me wonder how they all got here. What lead them here? Their outside pain is so easy to spot – but just underneath the surface I wonder what needs healing on the inside. How difficult are all of these circumstances! How badly I want to share my Jesus with them – how it hurts me to look at them and wonder . . . do they have what I have?
Even tonight, after cat scans, needles and i.v’s – oh my J . . . I feel so truly blessed.
Yes, I have an incurable disease. Yes, there are lots of days I don’t feel so great. Yes, some days I hurt. But my Jesus is SO much bigger than all this. My joy is not shaken. My walk is only made stronger, deeper because He is so very real and present in my life. My life is enriched by learning to lean on Him COMPLETELY.
As I walk out of the sliding glass doors and see my family warming up our little blue minivan I look back once more and I wonder . . . did I just miss the opportunity of a lifetime? Did I push aside that still small voice that says “Tell them who I am. I AM that I AM.”
I am learning more every day that sometimes God puts us right where we need to be – and sometimes we miss the boat. What would Jesus have done? What would Paul have said? I doubt they would have quietly walked out the sliding glass doors. They would have shared stories, prayed . . . humbled themselves.
As the doors close behind me and I breathe in a big gulp of cold air I know I missed a blessing. And as those same people go back to whatever led them here . . . I can only pray that in all things they have the one thing not even the yuckiest day can take away– the gift of knowing my Savior as their friend.